Numbers - Chapter 8
Mostly about arrangements of lamps and then telling how to ceremonially clean Levites. Purification stuff.

Numbers - Chapter 7
Sooo boring!!
I thought it was picking up after that mildly interesting Nazirite vow last time, but this one was just tedious. The audio was 9 minutes long and discussed the offerings that the leaders made.
Basically, it started with Moses going to the tabernacle, and over 12 days, all the different leaders brought lots of animals and other sundries for sacrifice.
Each day was listed separately. Each offering was listed. How many rams. How many lambs. How many bulls.

It was another chapter where you could hear the reader start to speed up near the end, because he wanted to get through to the end of this one.

Numbers - Chapter 6
This is an odd one. It describes the Nazirite vow. I am not sure exactly what that is. I Googled it, and basically I just found that it was a vow to dedicate yourself fully to God. But it's a specific thing with time frame.
Basically, it comes down to two things. During this period of your vow, you can't cut your hair. And you can't go near dead bodies. That's it.
The only exception is if someone suddenly dies near you, then you shave your head and go through a period of consecration ending with a food offering to your neighborhood fat priest, before continuing your vow.
One thing I noticed that it specifically says both men and women can take the Nazirite vow. Unlike a lot of Biblical stuff, women get to play too.

Numbers - Chapter 5
This is an odd one. Basically, it's a sort of hoodoo witchcraft test that the priests give to test whether or not a dude's wife has been unfaithful.
The woman is brought before the priest. And he gives her water to drink. If she is innocent, then she stays happy and healthy and can go on to bear her husband's children, but if she is guilty, then the water will become bitter, make her thigh rot and her belly swell, and they know to cast her out.


I am sure this actually worked more than you'd think. People believed this stuff wholeheartedly back then, and there is such a thing as a psychosomatic reaction. But mostly, I think that mostly the women were fine, and got away with more than you'd think, infidelity-wise.

Numbers - Chapter 4
Just more census stuff. Different groups had to do different things, like put a blue cloth on the tabernacle and carry it around. If you didn't do things right, you died.

Then more, well, numbers. That's the name of the chapter.

Numbers - Chapter 3
Not too much to say about this one. I had trouble paying attention.
It's mostly like one of those geneology chapters mixed with the idea of a census. This time the Levites get their census, but because they are fat priests, they are special, and get theirs done seperately. If I am reading this right, there are a lot of subhouses of Levi, based on each of Levi's sons.
Then there was something about redemtion money. Hard to follow.

Numbers - Chapter 2
Boring chapter, and for boring reasons. Basically, now that they have done the census, they are putting the dudes they mentioned earlier from each tribe, and officially making them captains.
Then it talked about where they'd be deployed, such as the tribe of Reuben camping to the south, and the tribe of Judah will break camp first, and so forth.
So, it's not just about the numbering. The Israelites are getting their armies together and preparing for war.

Numbers - Chapter 1
Okay, we are now in the fourth book of Moses called Numbers.
This is, big surprise, a boring chapter. But boring for interesting reasons.
Basically, it's now two years after Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt. The Lord spoke to Moses and told him to take a census. So, that is what this chapter is about. The census.
Of course, the women and children don't count. They want soldiers. So you are only counted if you are 20 years or older, and are able to go to war.
At this point, Numbers starts saying this over and over for every tribe of Israel. If you recall, there are 12 tribes, each one named after one of Jacob's kids. It starts simply, listing the name of one person from each tribe, who is presumably the leader or general now.
Then it starts a whole rant, starting with the tribe of Reuben.
"The children of Reuben, Israel's oldest son, their geneologies by their families, by their father's house, according to the number of names, every male individually, from twenty years old and above, all those who were able to go to war: those who were numbered of the tribe of Reuben were forty-six thousand five hundred."

Then they did this over and over for each son. The same basic paragraph. "by their father's house, according to the number of names, every male individually, from twenty years...." yadda yadda yadda.

The numbers break down like this:
Reuben: 46,500
Simeon: 59,300
Gad: 45,650
Judah: 74,600
Issachar: 54,400
Zebulun: 57,400
Joseph (Ephraim): 40,500
Joseph (Manasseh): 32,200
(apparently Joseph gets two houses. I like this. In my mind he is still Donny Osmond, and I like that he is doing well, even after his death.)
Benjamin: 35,400
Dan: 62,700
Asher: 41,500
Naphtali: 53,400

Each name got the same paragraph of speech, ending in the number.
Remember a couple chapters back, I mentioned that the normally staid, stolid voice of the reader got all fire and brimstoney? Well, in this bit he started speed-talking a bit. He just wanted to get this repetitive stuff over with. (I found out the reader. He is named Alexander Scourby)

Observant readers will note that one tribe has been left out. The tribe of Levi. This is no accident. The Lord specifically said that the census would not apply to the Levites. Remember the fat priests that people brought food to? That's the Levites. A whole tribe of fat priests. A family business.
Theie job is the stay near the tabernacle, carry it around, and kill any outsiders who get near it.

Universe 1

Leviticus - Overview
This one was interesting. Lots of rules rules rules.

God seems to have a sort of OCD, and likes to have everything in its place. Some of the rules make sense. Some don't. A lot of them have the death penalty as punishment for seemingly minor crimes. Lots of sacrifices. It was pretty sweet to be a priest. You got to make a lot of decisions concerning the lives of others and people brought you food.

Next chapter: Numbers.
Yes, it's called The Book of Numbers. Sounds even less exciting than Leviticus.

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