billionsix

Okay, it's back to the laws, mostly sex laws, but this time it lists the punishments. Mostly death.

It starts with mentioning Molech. If you give your descendants to Molech, then you are put to death.
I am curious who Molech is now. Christians talk a lot about Satan, or the Devil, or whatever he is called. Molech is a new one. Is he a devil we haven't been told about?
Anyway, you like Molech? Death by stoning.
If you know somone is giving his child to Molech and pretend it didn't happen, then God rejects you. No details, but probably means death. Same with people who prostitute themselves with Molech.

Doing occult stuff or consulting mediums? Cut off from the people.

Curse your mother or father? Death. Does curse mean actively doing some kind of ritualistic curse, or if you mutter, "Aw, f**k Mom and Dad," under your breath, you are dead? As I've said before, in stricter times this could be horribly abused, with guards hauling off toddlers because they shouting "I hate you, Mommy!" in a tantrum.

Commit adultery with another man's wife? Death for both of them.

Sleep with your father's wife? Death for both.

Sleep with your daughter-in-law? Death for both.

Sleep with another dude? Death for both.

Marry a woman and also marry her mother? Death by fire for all three.

Man has sex with an animal? Death for both. Yes, that means the human and the animal get put to death. It says that.

Woman has sex with an animal? Same thing. Two seperate laws.

Man has sex with his sister, his father's daughter, or mother's daughter, then they will be "cut off from their people." Still vague on what that means. Probably involves death.

If a man has sex with a woman during her "sickness" they will both be cut off. I looked it up. Yep, her time of the month. Referred to as her "sickness."

Don't have sex with an aunt, on either mom or dad's side. The punishment for that is that you will die childless. That is an odd one. What if you already have children? Are your children put to death, then you?

Remember to distinguish between clean and unclean animals.

If you are a medium, or do occult stuff, death by stoning.

I read a quote once by a physicist name Steven Weinberg: "Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."

Think about this: You are a man, living thousands of years ago. You have a son who you love very much. You find out your son had sex with another man's wife. Maybe he had a lapse in moral judgment. Maybe he didn't know she was married. Doesn't matter. The dudes in charge have heard the case and found your son guilty. Now you love your son. You, like any good father, had hopes and dreams for him. But now he is going to be publicly stoned. It's likely you will be expected to help stone him, since there are likely rules about letting this sort of thing slide and pretending it didn't happen.
Now, you believe in God. This isn't the modern day where you just go to work and maybe church on weekends. There isn't science or critical thinking. You believe, 100%, in God, since you haven't even heard any other options. You know for an absolute fact that God is watching over your shoulder at everything you do. If you don't beat your own son to death with rocks, then God will punish you instead.
Now, you love your son. You would gladly take that punishment, trading your life for his. But God knows that. He knows you have other kids, and grandkids, too. He will go after them. He'll doom your family for generations. So, tears filling your eyes, knowing you have to protect your remaining family, you go pick out rocks, planning to kill your son.

Ain't religion great?

More laws! Some make sense. Some don't. Some are rehashes of the earlier commandments.

Revere Mom and Dad. Keep the Sabbath.

Don't make idols or molded gods.

If you offer a peace offering, it has to be of your own free will, and it will be eaten that day and the next day, burn the remains with fire.

If you eat it on the third day, you are kicked out from the people. It's an abomination.
(The early Bible likes that term. Abomination. Eating a peace offering on the third day after it was offered is an abomination. Just like lying with a man like you would a woman.)
Okay, when you are farming, and reap your harvest, leave the corners of your field unharvested. If you have a vineyard, don't gather all the grapes. Leave some.
This is actually a nice thing. The idea is that any poor people or strangers wandering around can pick at the stuff you didn't harvest.

Don't steal, deal falsely, or lie.

Don't swear by God's name falsely.

Don't cheat or rob your neighbor. If you owe him money, don't wait till morning.

Don't curse the deaf, or put a stumbling block in the path of the blind. That's a nice one. Show respect for the handicapped. I like the fact that there are these little compassionate bit mixed in with the nonsensical and often ruthless Old Testament laws.

When you are a judge, don't be unjust. Don't be partial to poor people, or honor mighty people. I know the 99% hate the first part, and the 1% hate the second part. But you have to be righteous and fair to everyone. If they're guilty, they are guilty.

Don't gossip or tell stories about people. Don't stand by when your neighbor's life is in danger.

Don't hate your brother secretly. Get it out in the open.

Don't get revenge on people. Don't hold grudges. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Weird one: Don't let two different types of animals mate with each other. Apparently, the bestiality laws aren't just for humans. Does this mean that mules are abominations, since they are a mix of horse and donkey?
Don't plant two different types of seed in the same field.
Don't wear a garment with mixed wool and linen fiber.

I think God has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He really likes things to be in their proper place.

Odd one: If you have sex with a slave girl, but she's engaged to someone, and she hasn't been freed yet, there's an investigation. No one will be put to death, because she wasn't a free woman at the time. But you can do peace offering atonement deal by offering a ram, and you're forgiven.
So you can bang slave girls. Just make sure you have a steady supply of rams.

If you move to a new place and plant fruit trees, you can't eat the fruit for the first three years. On the fourth year, the fruit is holy and is an offering to God. In the fifth year, go ahead and eat it. Apparently, this method will improve your harvest.

Don't eat meat with blood. Don't practice any kind of sorcery or divination.

Don't shave the sides of your head, or trim the edges of your beard.

Another weird one: Don't cut your body to honor the dead.
Don't get tattoos.

Don't pimp your daughter out as a whore. Apparently this is a slippery slope that will turn the entire nation into a brothel.
(Side note: I am starting to understand the Christians' thing for freaking out about stuff. There are actual passages in the Bible that say things like "If you do this sin, then everyone in the world will start doing it and the world will become a giant pit of sin.")

Keep the Sabbath (again) and revere my sanctuary. (Not sure of that last one. Maybe show respect for churches?)

Don't pay attention to mediums or occult types.

Respect the elderly.

When a foreigner enters your land, love him like you would yourself. Since you were strangers in Egypt.

Don't cheat when measuring stuff like length or weight.

That's pretty much it for this chapter.

One thing I should mention. I didn't repeat it in each line, but a lot of these lines ended in things like "I am the LORD." or "I am the LORD your God." At the end of a lot of these verses.
Like "You will not get tattoos. I am the LORD."
It's like a rapper who insists on shouting his name over and over during the song, like you'll forget who you are listening to.

Anyway, that's done.

Finally! The chapter we have all been waiting for! The Sex Laws!
Now God tells us what kinds of sex are dirty and wrong.
Well, wrong. We've already established that all sex is dirty.
Don't have sex with a close relative.
Don't have sex with your mother.
Don't have sex with your father's wife.
(That is not necessarily a redundancy. Your dad may have multiple wives, or be a remarried widower.)
Don't do your sister. Doesn't matter if she's your father's daughter or your mother's. So a half-sister is still a sister.
Don't do your granddaughters.
Don't do your step-sister.
Don't do your aunt, either on mom or dad's side.
Don't do your daughter-in-law.
Don't do your brother's wife.
Here's an odd one: Don't have sex with both a woman and her daughter or granddaughter.
Another odd one: Don't marry your wife's sister to be a rival wife and have sex with her while your wife is still alive.
Don't do your neighbor's wife.
A baffling one: Don't give any of your children to be burned as sacrifice to the god Molech. I had to look at a couple translations for this one.
Don't have sex with other dudes. This is a famous and popular one. So I will highlight it: Leviticus Chapter 18, Verse 22: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is abomination."
If you are a conservative evangalist type, this is your entire Bible. You don't need the parts about Jesus and forgiveness. Just print that verse on a fortune cookie sized piece of paper and carry it in your wallet. Doesn't matter that it's probably more to do with God's OCD about cleanliness and not dropping your seed in the wrong place.
Okay, next. Don't do an animal.
Then it goes on about how these things not only pollute you, but your entire nation, and if you keep it up, your nation with vomit you out like it did the people before you. Again, if you are a conservative evangalist, this is probably what you believe.

Edit: I forgot to mention something I thought about. All these laws mainly consider what dudes are allowed to do. I suppose if you are a guy with a harem of 30 women, God doesn't seem to mind if the chicks keep each other entertained. But it is probably partly because God is mostly focused on the dudes, and doesn't really care as much about the women, and also because the guys are the ones leaving spoodge all over the place, where women are relatively cleaner, at least most times of the month.

This is a short one. Basically, it boils down to "Don't eat blood."
That's it. Make sure you drain the blood out of anything you eat. Don't let strangers or visitors eat blood when they are staying with you. Don't eat blood.

More sacrifices and atonement. There is an interesting twist to this one. They introduce the concept of a scapegoat. I had heard about this, but for anyone reading this, the scapegoat was a real thing. In addition to the other sacrifices, one goat was set aside. They recited all the sins of the people and laid them on the goat. Then one of them took the goat out, and set it free to wander the wilderness, and take away their sin. Then the guy came back, and cleansed himself. Nice way to get rid of your sins. Much better than, say, feeling sorry and trying to improve yourself!

Slightly weird one. All about emissions. Basically, semen and menstrual blood. Guess what? It's unclean! Seriously. Every time a man shoots a load, he has to go and wash, and be considered unclean until evening. And if he has sex with a woman, and spoodges inside of her, they are both unclean, and need to be cleansed. God seems to have developed a regret for making us as messy as He did. There is a little bit about sacrifices, but that's about par for the course in these books. Basically, this chapter is letting us know that sex is dirty. Physically and spiritually.

More leprosy. After the practical nature of the last chapter, it gets back to ceremony and sacrifice. It details the various sacrifices and stuff you have to make after your unclean period, to get you back into clean society.
But after that, it tells you what to do if your HOUSE is leprous. Seriously. The footnote says that refers to things like mildew and dry rot. So we are back to being practical. Cool.
Basically, you get rid of all the stuff that is unclean and replace it. Then you call in the inspector to check it. That is to say, the priest. Then there is more sacrifice and ceremony.

This was a long chapter that basically gave a lot of detail on one subject. Lepers. One translation I read said it wasn't literal leprosy but called it "skin disease"
I will distill it. It gives lots of detail descriptions of what different skin ailments look like, and whether or not they are "leprous"
If they are, you are pronounced unclean, and you have to go live by yourself for seven days.
Then it does the same with clothes, and burning them if they are unclean.

This is one of the chapters I can get behind. Long before anyone knew anything about biology or disease or germs, the Bible is telling people to quarantine the sick, so as not to spread it. Not bad.

I've been told by a friend that it's not literal leprosy, but something to do with gossipers and stuff. That would take all my respect away from a very practical chapter.